Wherever we are, we always have choices. When we forget this or resist acknowledging this we will feel trapped and stuck.
One of the biggest choices we can make is the choice to let go. This might be letting go of pain, an old belief, or anything else that is no longer good for us. The moment when we discover how hard we have been holding on to these things is always a massive revelation. We ask: “why would I do that to myself?”
In order to let go we first have to understand why we have holding on in the first place. Invariably, though it will sound preposterous at first, there are powerful pay-offs. Basically, it’s the case of the ‘devil you know’. The belief or habit may be causing us pain in all kinds of ways, but we know it and associate it with safety because it is familiar to us. Letting go involves opening up to new, unknown possibilies, including the possibility that things might actually be worse. This is the biggest scare tactic our mind can play on us.
But here’s the thing. One thing I keep learning is that it’s better to live knowing that you have gone for it, that you’ve given it your best shot, even if you fail. And you know one thing is certain, and that is that if you stay where you are, if you deny growth, if you do nothing, things can only get worse, they cannot get better.
For example, holding on to the belief that you are powerless may stop you from taking action that will actually help someone you love. It will also stop you from taking action to improve your own life. My wife is amazing like this in that when things get difficult for me she has the courage to lovingly point out when I am contributing to my suffering. She knows I will resist at first, but over time we have learned the amazing value of supporting each other in each way – by seeing the signs and taking action.
Don’t wait for the house to burn down. If you see the signs of disaster coming – do something! If you do nothing and disaster does strike, you will be justified in blaming yourself.
So, what are you holding on to that is no longer working?
Be honest about what this is costing you and others.
Is this something you are prepared to put up with one moment longer? (if the answer is ‘yes’ go back and do the last question properly!)
What are the best possible results of new powerful action? Who will benefit?
Now, choose to let go of what is not working.
Commit to action. If you don’t know what works, find out.
If you have difficulty with this, call your coach to organize a coaching session on this.